| 5 Ideas to Help You Get Closer to Your Friends |
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‘Friendships are so important if we want to feel fulfilled in life. Our happiness, our health and our emotional wellbeing are often linked with how deep our friendships go’. So says David Oliver. ‘But what does being friends really mean? And what can you do to make friends and deepen your friendships?’ 1 To make a friend, be a friendThere’s an old adage: “Do as you would be done by” which springs to mind. What would you want in a friendship? Are you willing to give that to others? Being a friend can be very simple. Do you encourage your friends when they succeed, or thank them for their kindness? Some of the ‘best’ friends are the ones who make a cup of tea for you and listen to how you feel about things. You don’t always have to be a problem-solver. Sometimes you just have to be there.2 Be quick to forgiveThere’ll be times when people annoy us, offend us, or hurt us. Being willing to forgive people doesn’t mean you ignore the problem. But it does mean you actively seek to solve it. If a friend spoke harshly to you, give them the benefit of the doubt. They may have had their reasons. You might just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time! Giving someone a second, third, or thousandth chance is crucial if you want your friendship to survive. And remember, one day you might have to ask for their forgiveness.3 Spend time with people, even when it costsTime is the greatest gift you can give someone, because you can never get it back. How you spend your time says more about what really matters to you than anything else.4 Be appropriately generousIt’s great to be generous. But it can also be a point of difficulty, especially if you have friends at much lower income levels. Your first instinct may be to always offer to pay for your friends. But they may feel embarrassed by it. There is a tremendous amount of self-worth and self-respect bound up in being able to pay for yourself.5 Choose to work with a friendHaving a strong friendship in work is a key ingredient in workplace success. I’ve known sales teams who are all close friends actually apply for jobs together so they can stay as close friends. It’s an extreme example, but it is always worth considering whether you’ll be working with friends if you’re thinking of changing jobs. Of course, working with your friends isn’t always possible. But it’s still good for our wellbeing if we build strong friendships at work. Taken from Care for the Family’s monthly email newsletter, E-family, and used with permission.Sign up for E-family
David will be exploring how to build and maintain friendships in more depth at The Stress Survival Guide. At The Stress Survival Guide you will:
David explains his qualifications for talking to you about stress: ‘I get stressed and I’m still learning Bletchley, Monday 17 November 2008, Leicester, Tuesday 18 November 2008, Bracknell, Thursday 20 November 2008. Call us on (029) 2081 0800 to book. Tickets: £6.00 each. |
to cope with it. I work in a stressful job, running my own business. I’ve seen four kids off into adult life, but I still worry about them. ‘And what I’ve learned the hard way from all this is that either you control your stress, or it will control you.’
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